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This post is a bit of a departure from my normal blog material namely— nature, plants, poetry, ecology and metaphorbut the current news cycle and its endless ugly resurgence of sexism, violence, and misogyny deep currents coming come up to the surface to be exhumed has me thinking of the old ways that are ready to die.

The tired ways A nice woman is needed seeing that are about to expire. It has set me thinking, most particularly, about a concept in our culture that is utterly, and completely, worn out.

A nice woman is needed

From early on I recognized Find horny girls Rocksprings Texas life as a female and an empath to boot would be easier for me if I just became unreservedly nice.

This is how the dictionary defines nice. And on a subconscious level this is how I fashioned myself to be in the world.

I became someone who always put others needs first, defaulting to an attitude of cheerful mildness. Even as I empowered myself with education, knowledge, life experience, starting and rocking my own business, there A nice woman is needed always the impetus to be a nice girl.

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Saying yes when I wanted to say no. Apologizing for things that I had no need to feel sorry for, Wife swapping in San ysidro CA speaking my mind or just enjoying my life. Yellow Rose -Daniel F. Sometimes, niceness takes you so far down the rabbit hole that you lose track of how to even understand what it is that you need on a deeper level.

I remember a partner who used to get deeply frustrated with me because, whenever he asked where I wanted to go to A nice woman is needed or what movie I wanted A nice woman is needed see, I never had an immediate answer.

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When posed with the question of what I wanted I consistently drew a blank. At the time this partner thought I was being purposely elusive, but the reality was nicd I actually had no idea what I wanted.

I had spent so long being a nice girl in my relationship that I lost track of A nice woman is needed woman who had forthright interests and desires. For many women living in the world today this is still the case. But becoming, and remaining a nice girl, is a kind of malnutrition to the soul of a woman. To remain a nice girl means just that.

To remain, in the eyes of noce world, a girl. And it is clear that the world, our aching world of imbalance, is starving for something different. Woman on a Riverbank — Ferdinand Heilbuth.

I remember being part of a panel once where every nuce was introduced with a short mention of their work, and the medicine of their character. I was one of the last speakers to be introduced by the older gentleman Sex Bulgaria tonight dating ran the mic and the central tenant of A nice woman is needed speech, offered to describe me and entire body njce my work, was this: When we devote ourselves to being nice girls we give up both agency and power.

One does not declare oneself to be nice.

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Nice is a title that is bestowed upon you by those you have pleased, a reward for agreeability. Your skill at fulfilling this role is wholly judged, decided and anointed by others.

Looking around at the distorted media that surrounds us, a dimness that we swim in as if it were most A nice woman is needed of waters, I cannot help but have a righteous wave roll up to break in my Local bbw Woonsocket iowa.

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Is it time ks reclaimed our own ability to self define. To take back our self representation. Time to flesh out the image of women everywhere and be shown in our fullness. It is time to let go of the mild poison that is nice. Women whose goodness depended not on how others A nice woman is needed them, but how eoman decided to carry themselves in the world? Something we enact, instead of something we fulfill.

This is Story #9 in the Mentoring Moments series -- a collection of "you need to know" stories (each told in under two minutes) from successful. Aug 3, Women Must Be Nice To Gain Influence At Work, Study Finds Men only need to do well at their jobs to be viewed as confident, according to. And, yes, the list absolutely includes good sex between partners. Women need men to show kindness, patience, understanding, empathy, and compassion.

Kind is something we can decide about ourselves. It is the grace of our care, a gift that we can decide to bestow.

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Nice is mild and forgettable. Kind is a power unto itself. Kindness is a bigness. In many cross-cultural myths, we hear of references to the ancient Goddesses as being kind though, just as often, Goddesses chose to be ks wild, sharp and severe.

But we never hear of a Goddess being nice. It is in A nice woman is needed nature to be kind.

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Kindness is something we can give. Nice is something we must mold ourselves to be. How many times A nice woman is needed we reacted to injustice by being nice, agreeable, mild, when we could have been kind? It is kindness, not niceness, that A nice woman is needed makes difference in the world. How would this world change if we all were raised to be kind women? Nice girls are quiet when injustices happen, especially to their own selves. It reminds me of a time in my early twenties when I was at a hot tub party.

A stranger, who several friends of mine had been chatting with, invited me to come sit next to him to be closer to the conversation. Once seated next to him, he surreptitiously stuck his hand down my bathing suit bottom. I was in shock. And my immediate reaction, what I felt was the safest reaction, was to be nice. To sit stunned for a moment, move away without comment, get out of the tub to gather my things, to tearfully find my friends and leave post haste. To this day, I wonder… what would have happened if Wives seeking casual sex Gautier had A nice woman is needed kind?

Kinder if I had been able to look him in the eye and tell him that his actions were inappropriate and hurtful.

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To look him in the eye and ask him why he thought it was okay to touch me without my consent. To explain how broken and powerless and triggered I felt. Jice leave space for him to confront his own demons. The other night I had a dream.

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Claire, who unreservedly puts herself last, and is sweet to a fault, is about the last woman I ever expect to see in a fistfight. In reality this friend and I have never had a single argument we are, after all, both very nice girls! Nasty, mean, angry without knowing why. In one big burst, we lit it all up. We literally tore each other apart in neeed storm that seemed to rip through our souls. Afterwards we lay on the floor Looking for a great nice woman A nice woman is needed haze, holding each other in gratitude and feeling lighter than ever before.

When I womah woke up I A nice woman is needed confused, why on earth would Claire and I want to destroy each other?

A nice woman is needed

And then I realized. Sylvia Linsteadt of Wild Talewort.

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The feminine, the divine feminine, has been starved from our earth. Kindness, and truly bold-hearted compassion, is the food that will reawaken balance once more.

While women have advanced in every field they've been a part of, whereas competent women needed to appear confident and be friendly. Dec 16, Of course, we admit that a woman in a beautiful dress with a If a woman needs to ask a question during the dinner she has to turn off that TV. I became someone who always put others needs first, defaulting to an But becoming, and remaining a nice girl, is a kind of malnutrition to the.

So next time you feel pressure to say yes when you want to say no. Next time your truth feels uncomfortable. Next time you feel subservient or small. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are a Kind Woman.

See how quickly the Goddess inside of you is nourished, grows. All the photos featured in this section of the piece are women I look up to as fiercely kind, A nice woman is needed changing the world with their bigness.

I highly recommend checking out their work.

A nice woman is needed

You certainly have a vision. Your insight is represents wisdom way beyond your years.

I laughed out loud at the part about not knowing where to go to beeded At 53 that is still me! I believe I am kind, but kind with no voice.

It is time for transformation. I am grateful to have found you.

At this right time. Thankyou from my heart. Your words are medicine for my tired soul.

needex I have been struggling to peel away the layers of the nice girl for years. Just this morning, after reading your latest blog post on Flower Essences for boundaries, I stood in A nice woman is needed power and said no. I bravely, courageously, risked being seen as selfish or unkind or not a team player, and I said no.

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I was feeling so much guilt, and then I found this blog post A nice woman is needed a link in your boundaries post which I went back to reread to soothe myself and I feel deeply seen ie held as a woman, reflected in your words. Thank you so much for coming to share here Erin.

This is huge work. And you are so not alone.

I think this is a major cultural moment of refinding what boundaries, kindess and self-love really means. And I am standing there right alongside you. And every time I do, I feel stronger and more empowered.